We went 11-3 picking the straight up winners last week; and had it not been for a game winning punt return with :05 seconds left, the phony-baloney Giants, and the crappy ass Packers, it very well could have been 14-0.
Against the Spread, Bird Droppings Inc. went 9-5 and is now comfortably +20 games in the “making money” side of the ledger.
Not to mention, the Thanksgiving Day Bird Droppings yielded a great start to Week 12.
Hey, speaking of giving thanks: Thankfully for Denver Bronco fans the World Cup is here. So we can all turn to the fast-paced game of soccer to finally see some scoring! Ba-dum-tsss!
Let’s bury a header or two into the back of the net, shall we?
Bird’s Eye View
Denver (-1) at Carolina
Watching the Broncos this season has officially reached Frustration Level: Buying Taylor Swift Tickets.
 |
| Yep. We’re way past that limit. |
I have no idea how any team not named the CU Buffs can be an underdog to this Broncos squad. I can only deduce that it has something to do with Sam Darnold being involved, so I guess I’ll lean towards the Donkeys like the idiot I am.
Broncos 15 Panthers 10
Atlanta at Washington (-3.5)
I think I’ve figured it out: Taylor Heinekie is a Civil War general’s beard away from being Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Coaches love him. Teammates love him. And despite falling somewhere between Gus Frerotte and Vinny Testeverde on the “Serviceable Quarterbacks” scale, he somehow wins in a way that you wonder if the regular starter could have done the same.
Washington keeps its mojo going against undermanned Atlanta.
Commanders 25 Falcons 17
Houston at Miami (-14)
Miami has punted 2 times in the last three weeks. Houston will match that in their first two possessions. Miami is coming off a two week break. Houston has taken all 11 weeks off thus far. I could go on and on….
Dolphins 31 Texans 10
Cincinnati at Tennessee (+1)
Toughest game of the weekend for this prognosticator. I don’t fully believe in Cincinnati and have been very vocal in my belief that last year’s AFC Champs won’t even make the playoffs this year.
I have to think this is a roadblock game for the ugly helmets.
Titans 28 Bengals 24
Chicago (+7) at New York Jets
New quarterback for Gang Green, and rumor has it the Jets told Zach Wilson to not even suit up today. Wow. Coaches and teammates alike must really hate this guy.
That being said it is almost impossible to handicap this game.
Mike White vs. Trevor Siemian -and/or- Nathan Peterman? Barf.
Bears 10 Jets 13
Tampa Bay (-3) at Cleveland
I haven’t looked up Tom Brady’s career record against the Browns, but given the results of the last few weeks I do know he is now 4-0 all time in international games and 0-1 with international women.
Since Cleveland is not an international woman, but does resemble downtown Beirut, I’ll take TB12 for the win here.
Buccaneers 19 Browns 14
LA Chargers (-2.5) at Arizona
Both of these teams are as shaky as Michael J. Fox on a roller coaster. But the Bolts are better.
Chargers 27 Cardinals 21
Las Vegas at Seattle (-4)
Even though they are 3-7, it remains very real that the Raiders are still 1-7 against teams not named the Broncos.
Seattle wins coming off an extra week of rest and prep. David Carr goes back to crying on tv afterwards.
Seahawks 27 Raiders 20
LA Rams at Kansas City (-15.5)
The Rams are folding faster than Superman on laundry day and now enter this game without Matt Stafford, without Cooper Kupp, and without the guy who’s been daylighting as their starting running back the past several weeks.
Meanwhile the Chiefs are completely stocked and need merely :15 seconds anytime they feel like scoring on you.
Even though I’m learning the hard way that games that look like sure blowouts this season are routinely becoming late covers for unsuspecting underdogs, I simply don’t know where LA is going to get their points from today.
I think Kansas City rolls here. And when I say “rolls here” I mean like Harlem Globetrotters vs. Washington Generals rolling.
 |
| The Rams are about to get de-pants’d and globetrotted. |
Chiefs 34 Rams 9
Green Bay at Philadelphia (-6)
If only they were smart, Green Bay would kick off their future with a canny little marketing campaign focused on the debut of Jordan “City of Brotherly” Love.
Instead, they keep rolling with #12.
Philly has looked beatable these past two weeks but with Dallas hot on their heels, I’ll take the birds to win and cover.
Eagles 30 Packers 20
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis (-2.5)
Time to pull out the “Don’t bet on crappy teams” gambit.
If they were getting more than two and a half points, I’d be tempted to bet Pittsburgh here as TJ Watt & Co. should be able to tee off on that statue otherwise known as Matt Ryan.
 |
| Matt Ryan gets on his horse in an attempted scramble. |
But so long as they only need to eek out a FG win to cover, I’ll take Indy at home as they seem to be slightly reinvigorated since the head coaching change.
Colts 22 Steelers 19
Fox in the Hen House
Baltimore (-3.5) at Jacksonville
A 7-3 team who has won four in a row, five of their last six, and is about to play their 3rd straight away game in either a dome or a warm weather city in the middle of shopping season; against a 3-7 team who has lost six in a row whenever the Raiders aren’t involved, and the former is only favored by two safeties?
Probably got me hook, line, and sinker yet again… but I’m biting.
Ravens 23 Jaguars 17
Bet the Nest
New Orleans at San Francisco (-8)
San Fran not only looks like a formidable foe in the NFC, but they have done me right three times now when being at least 7 pt favorites.
The Saints, contrarily, haven’t come anywhere close to doing me right and have screwed me whenever I do take them with a side of points.
This is an easy pick for The Bird and I wouldn’t stop you if you followed me on it. Niners roll.
49’ers 28 Saints 16
These have been your Black Friday, World Cup Bird Droppings! Goaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllll!
Season Total Straight Up Winners: 101-62-1
Season Total Against the Spread: 92-72
Lock of the Week Picks: 7-4
Trap Game of the Week: 4-7
No comments:
Post a Comment