‘Twas the Week Before Christmas: The Bird’s Week 16 NFL Picks

 The Week Before Christmas

'Twas the Week before Christmas and all through the nest,
The Bird’s picks were flailing but he’s doing his best;
You see Covid has hit a few NFL towns,
The Rams and the Lions; the Chargers and Browns;
The players were quarantined, all banned from their teams,
And picking these outcomes gets harder it seems;
With Goodell in his suit calling for protocol changes,
We've all seen our Sundays fraught with mass rearranges;
Washington and Philly; the Seahawks and Rams,
Just played on a Tuesday, what is this, a sham?
To the NFL Network I flew like a flash,
To do my best to forget that my Broncos are trash.
These games in December played without any snow,
Doesn’t change things one bit - this is still Tom Brady's show;
Though others would argue that’s not written as fact,
Murray, Mahomes and Rodgers and Dak, 
Or Stafford and Allen would say "not so quick,"
As would that coach from New England, the one who’s a dick.
More from some others who's hopes still remain,
It's really quite easy to list them by name;
"Now, Herbert! Now, Jackson! Now, Kelce and Dalvin!
On, Kittle! On, Taylor! On, Baker and Alvin!
To the top of the standings! To the Wild Card awning!
Score all you can, but don't get flagged for taunting!"
As whistles are blown for the stupidest flags,
I’ll say a quick eulogy for the Lions and Jags;
Or the Jets and the Texans; the Giants and Bears,
With the post-season coming, none of them will be there.
A few others are fading into "Welp, see ya laters,"
Like the Seahawks and Panthers; the Broncos and Raiders;
Von Miller is active, Derek Henry is not,
Whether Covid or injury it takes extra thought;
To make all these picks with constant changes to rosters,
And still beating Espn, Yahoo, and other pick'em imposters;
A bundle of picks straight from The Bird’s head,
The winners! The losers! Straight up! Against the spread!
He posts with a knowledge, although some weeks are iffy,
You can always get NFL advice in a jiffy;
So laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, with some gridiron prose;
He sprang to his laptop, his fingers a strumming,
There’s no time to waste, the playoffs are coming;
Then hear him exclaim, as his picks keep on topping,
"Happy Christmas to all! Thanks for reading the Droppings!"

Here are the Week 16 picks, y’all. I do truly wish everyone the hap- hap- happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny F@#$! Kaye.  As always, thank you for reading!

San Francisco at Tennessee (+3.5)   Titans 27  49'ers 24

Cleveland at Green Bay (-7)   Packers 31  Browns 23

Indianapolis at Arizona (-1)  Cardinals 31 Colts 27

Tampa Bay (-10) at Carolina   Buccaneers 37  Panthers17

LA Chargers (-10) at Houston   Chargers 30  Texans 9

Buffalo (+2.5) at New England   Bills 27  Patriots 24

LA Rams at Minnesota (+2.5)   Rams 28  Vikings 27

Baltimore at Cincinnati (-3)   Bengals 22  Ravens 17

Detroit (+6) at Atlanta   Falcons 24  Lions 20

New York Giants at Philadelphia (-10)   Eagles 27 Giants 13

Jacksonville at New York Jets (pk)   Jets 20  Jaguars 14

Chicago at Seattle (-6.5)   Seahawks 29  Bears 17

Denver at Las Vegas (-1)   Raiders 27  Broncos 17

Pittsburgh (+8) at Kansas City   Chiefs 34  Steelers 27

Washington at Dallas (-10.5)   Dallas 30  Washington 17

Miami (+3) at New Orleans   Dolphins 23  Saints 21

Last Week Straight Up Winners: 10-6

Current Season Total Straight Up Winners: 137-87

Last Week Against the Spread: 9-7

Current Season Total Against Spread:  116-106-2