You’ll have to forgive me. Normally it’s Week 4 or 5 by the time I unleash a 10 paragraph diatribe of disgust on the state of my Denver Broncos. Better late than never I guess.
Feel free to scroll past for this week’s picks, or… grab a beer and a pitchfork and listen in with me.
This is infuriating. As I watched New England last Thursday night claim their 6th win in a row, chugging along and growing their new identity with a rookie QB that could have very easily been drafted by the Broncos, the realization of Denver’s dysfunctional state overwhelmed and left me with a case of the angry ass. Or maybe that was the Taco Bell I was eating. Either way, it brewed in me. Even if Mac Jones isn’t the lone reason for New England’s success; even if he turns out not to be the second coming in New England; the point that follows is this: the Pats were 1-3 back in September, and paired with last season’s struggles, life after Brady was looking dire. But their coaching staff understands the reward that comes with being pliable in the face of difficult decisions. Having some semblance of a vision never hurt anybody either.
The Broncos as it were, slinked into their bye week on the heels of one of the most disappointing home losses in a long while just one week after looking totally legit in Dallas. We had hope. God forbid it was the first time I’d felt any hope since I woke up the morning of Super Bowl 50, but at least it was hope.
And then the Week 10 crap show against Philly took place. Teddy Bridgewater made the most unforgivable lack of effort play I think I’ve ever seen in football, and all of it idled sadly for two weeks to become the poster image for what this team’s growing identity is.
 |
| The yellow arrow highlights all you need to know about what kind of team the Broncos have become. |
If the leader of your team, the friggin’ quarterback, is allowed to quit —in the middle of a play— and still keep his job, then everyone can. Right?
Bla. Despite this signature moment by their unimpassioned quarterback, Denver entered the bye week at 5-5 and well within “the hunt” in the AFC. If nothing else, they had a significant sample size of what they have, who they have, and what they needed to change during the two week rest. No better time for making some inflight mid season adjustments than when you have 14 days to do so.
And what did they do? NOTHING.
Pathetic. Are they seriously that pleased with things? Or just stupidly confident in their current state of being? When you have personnel authorities who seem blind (or neglectful) to making honest talent decisions because of pride or stupidity or whatever the hell it is, you’ve got problems. The last time I looked, loyalty and ignorance don’t win much.
All of Broncos Country hoped the team would have used their two week bye period to implement some (any?) key adjustments and changes heading into the final 7 week stretch of the season. A stretch that, despite all of the above, still had flickers of hope.
And they made…? Exactly no changes.
Not a coaching change. Not a swap at quarterback. Perhaps naming Javonte Williams (my vote for Team MVP, not to mention Most Pleasant Surprise on this otherwise underachieving roster) as the lead #1 running back? Nope. How about making Albert O. the number one tight end and moving on from mega bust Noah Fant? Nope again. Change up the play calling duties? Alleviate the head coach from trying to juggle between head coaching AND defensive coordinating at the same time? Nope and Nope. Where is this vaunted secondary we heard about all off-season with the additions of Kyle Fuller and Ronald Darby? We paid $40M for those two!? Where is Bradley Chubb? Did I mention Noah Fant already? Are we sure that’s not Ashley Lelie in disguise?
Listen. Drew Lock may not fair any better at quarterback than Teddy Two Gloves has, and given the unimaginative play calling abilities of Pat Shurmur it’s safe to say he probably wouldn’t. But I’ll say this: he’d bring more energy and passion, more downfield threats, and sometimes —the week after your regular quarterback announces his retirement in the middle of a play usually makes for good timing— a change for change’s sake can be catalytically good. One thing I know for damn sure: he’d have chased down a cornerback running by with the game clinching fumble in his hands like Andy Reid chasing a burrito truck, and not just waved him by like a disinterested matador.
The fact that not even a change at QB was made during the two week idle period further enforces that this group of decision makers have their minds made up, whether right or wrong (and they’ve been mostly wrong, let’s be honest). Either they refuse the humility of righting any poor decisions made so far, or they just believe whole heartedly in their loyalties even when none of them any longer pass the eye test.
Vic Fangio, George Paton, and the Broncos brain trust had a chance to change some things this week. Most importantly, they had a chance to make sure the Teddy B play vs. Philadelphia didn’t become a season-defining moment. Instead, they rested on laurels that aren’t paying dividends and said, “Nah. We’re good, yo.”
Sigh. Until this team gets an owner in place, such cries for accountability will stay exactly where they are: in the Bird Droppings, on the deaf ears of Broncos’ brass, and in the broken hearts of Broncos fans not at all used to such long stretches of NFL irrelevancy.
Rest in peace, Pat Bowlen. The proud and winning franchise you left behind sure does miss you.
Now then. Wiping the spit of outrage from my lips and moving on to Week 12. Ladies and gentlemen, the picks…
Atlanta at Jacksonville (+2.5)
I have been burned by the Falcons all season long. I keep expecting them to be able to hang offensively, but then they go out and give up copious amounts of points leading to insurmountable deficits.
Even on a weekend against the Jags, when I feel like this is a good spot to take them, I no longer can stomach the idea of betting on Atlanta.
Jaguars 20 Falcons 19
New York Jets at Houston (-2.5)
The less said about this game the better. And please don’t watch it. But that doesn’t mean I can skip the pick.
[closes eyes, throws dart].
Texans 16 Jets 13
Tennessee (+7) at New England
Clash of the Titans and I’m not sure at this point if that refers to Tennessee or New England. The Patriots look disgustingly like themselves of late. I’ll bet the evil empire wins today, but for a proud and solid team who is desperate to get back on track, +7 points is too juicy to pass up.
Taking Tennessee plus the points.
Patriots 27 Titans 24
Philadelphia (-4) at New York Giants
Don’t look now but Philadelphia is smelling blood in the waters of the NFC East. With Jalen Hurts spreading his wings and quietly becoming a viable NFL QB, and with Dallas tripping all over themselves, the Eagles are beginning to see a door opening. And New York is awful.
Eagles 27 Giants 16
Pittsburgh (+4.5) at Cincinnati
Tampa Bay at Indianapolis (+3)
I don’t think I can go against this Colts team right now. Not with Jonathan Taylor running his way straight past the Tom Brady’s and Aaron Rodgers’ of the world and into the lead for MVP of the 2021 season.
The Colts have won 5 of their last 6 and for my money’s worth are the hottest team on the planet. The horseshoes getting points as home dawgs is the play here me thinks. I like them to steal the outright win as well.
Colts 30 Buccaneers 28
Carolina (-2.5) at Miami
Carolina is 2-6 in their last 8 games. Miami has won 3 in a row. That being said, both teams generally have the same record and appear to have many similarities.
I think that Carolina is pissed that they have been losing so much while the Fins are relieved that they have won a few games.
Los Angeles Chargers (-2.5) at Denver
After an impressive rant like the one above, I sure as heck can’t scroll down to here and pick Denver to win, much less cover, can I? I still have more rhetorical struggles, like: Do you think they’ll fire Vic Fangio when he bumbles his way to a loss two weeks from now against the 0-11-1 Lions?
Okay so maybe that’s not rhetorical.
I’ll pick L.A. here to win and cover.
Chargers 24 Broncos 23
Minnesota (+3) at San Francisco
Minnesota’s record doesn’t reflect as much, but they are a very solid football team. Take away some heartbreaking losses early on and they might be 7-3 or 8-2 instead of 5-5. One constant all season long with the Purple? They cover spreads and keep games close. They’re also 4-1 on the road and that doesn’t bode well for a team who is 1-4 at home.
Minnesota it is.
Vikings 27 49’ers 24
Los Angeles Rams (+1.5) at Green Bay
What we have here are two solid NFC favorites, maybe the top two favorites, but both teams are struggling of late. If we were talking underwear we’d have skid marks, as the Pack has lost two of their last three and the Rams have fallen twice in a row since their big makeover with recent trades and signings. That makes this one of the hardest games to pick this week.
I’ll give a slight lean to the road underdogs, as head coach Sean McVay promised his team would “come out friggin’ swinging” after their bye, and Green Bay has a QB with toe issues and who is missing two starters on his offensive line. This might be the game that Aaron Donald and Von Miller win for L.A.
Rams 29 Packers 17
Cleveland at Baltimore (-3.5)
You gotta admire Baker Mayfield’s toughness, but at some point “playing tough” doesn’t necessarily make it the right thing for the team. All of Cleveland seems to know this except for Kevin Stefanski and Baker himself.
Not only do the Browns seem to have all the issues of a monkey on a rock because of this, but from what I saw they got damn lucky that Detroit had to play their backup QB last weekend.
Now. They might get lucky again this week as they go up against a Baltimore team who’s quarterback apparently hasn’t learned to wash his hands and has the immune system of a newborn baby, but I wouldn’t count on it.
 |
| Why is Lamar always battling a case of the Mudbutt? |
Given the state of Cleveland’s football team of late, I think I like the Ravens here. If Jackson took his Flintstones vitamins this week and actually plays, I really like the Ravens.
Ravens 30 Browns 20
Seattle at Washington (-2.5)
Seattle is off to their worst start ever under Pete Carrol and Russell Wilson is staring down the barrel of the first three game losing streak of his career.
Washington, contrarily, has rejuvenated their fringe playoff hopes by virtue of winning two in a row and also because they play in the world’s worst division where every year, eight wins might win the East.
In this week’s sign that the apocalypse is coming, Taylor Heinicke is probably the better quarterback heading into this one. Washington plays its first home prime time game since 2012 and the RFK crowd of men dressed as hogs should be rowdy, loud, and impassioned. I think Washington has the edge here.
PS. Yes, I know it’s no longer RFK Stadium but I have a disease where I still call every NFL Stadium by its name from when I was a kid.
Washington 24 Seahawks 21
Thanks everyone! Remember: The Bird Droppings always taste better as leftovers.
Last Week Straight Up Winners: 6-9
Current Season Total Straight Up Winners: 103-62
Last Week Against the Spread: 8-7
Current Season Total Against the Spread: 85-78-2
No comments:
Post a Comment