Now that we're all just waiting on that little plastic thing to pop out of the turkey, its time to sit back, watch some football, and reminisce on that time Leon Lett made us all laugh gravy out our nose at the Cowboys.
Chicago (-3) at Detroit
In my lifetime, the term “Thanksgiving dinner” has become synonymous with “Hey, wanna come over and watch Detroit get their asses kicked?”
I am grateful for this, as while recent trial verdicts, mask mandates, and other current topics of social strife do indeed make excellent table talk at any gathering, a well-timed "how ’bout them Lions?" can provide a much-needed blast of levity to tense conversations.
Today I’d like to lean towards the winless guys to make everyone but Chicagoans proud to be American, but two things prevent me from doing so:
1. How can I pick a team quarterbacked by some dude named Tim Boyle? Didn’t he win Britain’s Got Talent several years ago? Even pitted against Andy Dalton I simply cannot do this.
2. I have myself 93% convinced the Lions are saving their first win for Week 14, when they do so against the bumbling Vic Fangio and my poor Denver Broncos. I don’t want to be the guy who predicts this on December 12th, so I will just casually forewarn everyone in Broncos Country now.
Today, the Bears are my pick.
Bears 26 Lions 16
Las Vegas (+7.5) at Dallas
Not a good spot for a Dallas team coming off a tough loss on a short week and missing some very key pass catchers on offense.
The ’Boys are 1-9 against the spread the last 10 Thanksgivings, and if I’m paying attention to trends I also should point out that the AFC West is 3-0 against America’s Team this year as the Chargers, Broncos and Chiefs have all taken turns kicking Dallas in the nuts already.
These types of stats are just begging for a Raider win and cover. I’ll bite on the cover, but I’m too chicken to pick a Las Vegas win.
Cowboys 29 Raiders 24
Buffalo (-5.5) at New Orleans
What in the hell has happened to Buffalo?
Up until about Halloween they looked like the clear leaders in the AFC and seemed to be well on their way to the Super Bowl. Then that Jacksonville game happened and ever since it has looked like just another long winter is coming to the Land of No Trophies.
Sadly, New Orleans doesn’t look any better than Buffalo but at least I know why the Saints suck. They’ve lost their QB, they’ve lost their RB and best player, and they play their home games in a stinky hurricane shelter.
What to do? Betting wise, I don’t like this game at all. While the rarity of a Thanksgiving prime time game is surely a big deal for the fine folks of New Orleans and should make for a rowdy good time on Bourbon Street, I’ll roll the dice on Buffalo to rebound here.
Bills 31 Saints 20
Have a great and thankful day with friends and family, everyone! As long as I can get out of the recliner after today, the rest of this week’s picks (along with my annual bye week rant on the state of the Denver Broncos) will surface sometime before Sunday.
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