Monday, September 25, 2023

Ozark & Bad Blood: The Marty Byrde Droppings

CU Buffaloes: “We’re gonna go out there this weekend and be the most embarrassing example of football the state of Colorado has ever seen.”

Denver Broncos:


They did it. For the second season in a row, and likely the foreseeable future, the Denver Broncos broke me. Eight weeks faster than they did last year. 

There is no rant. There is no analysis. There are no picks.

Well. There is one rant. And it’s for Mike McDaniel and the Miami Dolphins:

Taking a knee at the end there, Mike? That’s crap! 

Sorry. 

Kick the FG, get 73, and set the damn record

If you’re the losing team in that situation, it isn’t rubbing it in when a record like that is on the line. Miami easily gets 73 without rubbing anything in. And Denver deserved it. In fact, fake the FG and get 80, I say.  

Ugh.  

So instead of being able to say I watched the game where the point record was set, I get to say I watched the game where the pussies from Miami could’ve set the record and chose not to. 

Ugh again. 
 
And now, as if the football Gods have my testicles in firm grip and want to yank them up thru my nostrils and into the heavens, I have to watch the fucking Chiefs with Fox showing Taylor Swift in the luxury box every other play. 

Fml. Now I Got Bad Blood. 

There. *deep breath and heavy sigh*

There you have it. The Denver Broncos sucked the NFL fun right out of me to such a level that I find myself disgusted with the Miami Dolphins for not adding to it or doing it better.

Second year in a row. Or is it the seventh?

Doesn’t matter, either way I finally have an appreciation for what it must be like to be a Lions or Clippers fan. 

Goodbye cruel world. Goodbye Mr. and Mrs. Kelce, all hunky-effing-dory in Chiefsville. Goodbye weekly picks.

I’m heading deep into the Ozark to launder my soul. It’s me, Hi. 

You’ve been Byrde Dropped. 

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